That’s how I see so many wonderful, bright, warm, savvy, lovely business women, owners or career women.  So many of these women seem to be crying out – a silent scream – for help because they are more than stressed out by time challenges. Well, money challenges too, but that’s another blog. 

I have written before in my blogs about expectations and that, I believe, is an important component to addressing the time management challenge.  I just had a conversation with a business woman about how we perceive in our mind how long a task or activity will take to do, and almost always – it takes longer.  Why is that do you think?  I am certain that has nothing to do with our skills, talents, knowledge, or abilities.  We are actually well trained, well educated, and extraordinarily capable.  It is because we misjudge how much we can accomplish in any given time.  

Most often that misjudgment is generated by wishful thinking.  We put so much on our calendar plates, allowing less time than we know, somewhere in the reality part of our  brains, is not really possible to accomplish in the allotted time.  Or, we are so used to taking care of everything and everyone that we keep thinking we can load another thing on our backs, our agendas, our to-do’s and we’ll be fine.

The reason I say we are empty inside is that we get numb from using up all our energy, being disappointed daily as things pile up, messes grow, we chide ourselves, and run from one task/activity to another without allowing ourselves a break.  We blame ourselves, hide it often from others, won’t seek help, and as the pace of the treadmill of our work/life speeds up, we increase our speed to keep up, and cry inside because it’s too hard and it hurts.

Some people believe there is actually no solution.  I know that is not true.  I’ve found answers and have known others who have too.  I can’t share every idea I have in this limited space (those of you not in Optimal Level might consider joining to get more of these practical solutions).  Here are a few concrete suggestions, if applied, will help quite a bit:

1. List your values and prioritize them so you know what is really important to you.  Example:  family, faith, work, honesty, integrity, fun, friendship, health, etc., etc.

2. Decide on activities you want to do on a daily, weekly, monthly, or quarterly basis and then put those on your calendar.  Stick to them; they are your values!  Go ahead and put them on your calendar for the whole year. Examples: work out, eat breakfast, night out with an old friend, meditation, journaling, take the kids to a park, a game, to play tennis, to karate, etc., watch TV, read a book, clean out a desk, buy a new purse, get a manicure, pedicure, or massage, crochet, etc.

3. Build in more time than you think the task/activity will take.  Example:  Exercise – I hour.  Put 1hour, 15 minutes on your calendar.  Writing my blog:  1 hour.  Put 1 hour-15 minutes on your calendar.  Travel time to client: 45 minutes.  Put on 1 hour on your calendar.  Business Meeting – 1 ½ hour.  Put 1 hour 45 minutes or 2 hours on your calendar.  Travel time:  ½ hour.  Plan 50 minutes.  Always bring a book, a project, or something to work on if it winds up that you do not need that time.

4. Set an agenda.  Do not plan any meeting without establishing the following and getting agreement from anyone else involved with a meeting, activity, etc.:  The time you intend to spend, the purpose of the meeting, the expectations you have for the meeting and the expectations anyone else has for the meeting, and get agreement from all involved.  That way, when the meeting is over – it’s over.  If you get to the agreed upon ending time and it looks as if the business isn’t finished – remind everyone of the agreement.  Then you end you involvement.  You have to move on to your next meeting or scheduled task/activity.  At that point, you can set up another meeting time for the remainder of the work that needs to be done or agree to extend the meeting if that is what is practical and reasonable.

Also, if your meeting is for business, when you set your purpose and expectations, be clear that this time is not personal or social time. Get agreement before you start the meeting.

5.  Put interruption time into your daily schedule.  Allow, perhaps – depending on your particular situation – one half hour in the morning and one half hour in the afternoon.  Don’t fill it up with appointments or procrastinating or by watching TV, playing computer games, or anything else that about which later you will definitely feel guilty.  You can decide that if the interruptions don’t happen you can choose other work.

So that might look something like this:  10:00 – 10:30 Interruption Time; if  I am not interrupted finish answering emails (or work on Anderson project, or finish accounting report, or organize desk, etc.)

6. Totally stop judging your time management performance.  This is a total waste of time and energy.  It just makes you feel worse and more exhausted.  There isn’t a candid camera in your office and car checking to see if you are doing a magnificent job at this.  You know that without failure there cannot be success. Without a screw up here and there, you cannot achieve time management heaven. Build a learning curve, a human element, a less than perfect job into your expectations.  Shoot for time-management success 85% of the time.  That’s a hell of a lot better than 5 to 10% that’s most likely occurring now.

7.  If you are an idea junkie – go on a diet.  In our current times, you could spend 24 hours researching on the Web.  You could spend every day talking with someone you meet networking or an associate picking her brain.  You could probably read 10 magazines a week.  You could probably spend hours upon hours dreaming of new ideas.  You could… and most likely nothing in your life would improve.  Choose your main goals and objectives based on plans and strategies.  Then that’s it.  Anything else that sounds or looks good, keep in an idea box or file.  

Once you have reached your goal, then and only then, pick an idea from your idea box or file and  develop that into your next goal.  You will drive yourself nuts, your family and friends too if you jump  on every band wagon and try to find the best, the most, etc.  One of the underlying principles¸ expounded my most business gurus, is to focus on your main purpose.  Leave tangents for arithmetic.  It is so much fun to check off a goal when it is done and so frustrating when you are running in circles  with too many ideas and things to do.

8. Be clear, honest, and open about your schedule with others.  If people corner you, come into your office, stop you in halls, get you on the phone, and you do not have that time scheduled – don’t spend it.   People will understand; if they don’t they’re clods and you don’t have to be concerned about them anyway.  You have a responsibility to yourself, your colleagues, family and friends to honor your time commitments.  It is absolutely ridiculous that you feel bound to let someone who is inconsiderate or uniformed to misuse your valuable time.  A simple, “I would like to talk with you now.  I am scheduled  to leave [finish this task, get to a meeting, work on this plan-whatever] I will talk to you later [or would you like to schedule some time tomorrow?”]  

Some of you might think that you don’t have the time to take these time-saving steps; you’re too busy.  Then, if that is the case, and you don’t feel miserable about your time challenges; fine.  But if you feel empty inside, frustrated, scared, and want to scream out, this is how you do this:  Go to your calendar.  Find the next unscheduled day.  Put a big red “X” through it and take that day – if you got the flu or a bad cold, you might have to spend it in bed; you’d take the whole day.  This is better and more fun.  Work on planning these time management tips into your life on that day.  Once you do this you will be filled with life and energy and scream with joy!