Are you gainfully employed or running a business and feel as if and in fact, most often, behave as if you never, ever have time for anything else?  Do you long to clean out a drawer, to sit and gaze at nothing or read a good book, to be able to stop figuring out your next step, or to have a personal assistant, cook, driver, or private problem-solver?  In other words, are you exhausted, worn out, feel overwhelmed and scared to stop for a moment because everything or lots of things would fall apart?

I believe you are one of many others who are spending too much time, too much effort, and too much heartache with your career or business.  I can speak of this because – confession time – I am one of you!

Oh, I am a recovered one of these – a workaholic is not quite the exact word – and I currently vacillate between, for lack of a better phrase, balance sanity, and this craziness of super involvement with and attachment to one’s job or business.

I so often have heard people relating experiences about having someone close or related to them die or become seriously ill, and how those experiences helped bring them back into perspective.  That perspective – doggonit – doesn’t have very much staying power.

Upon close examination, this “thing” that overtakes us and causes an addiction to our work, can have some “thou shalts” of its own ala the 12 step programs.

Thou shalt – not take oneself so damn seriously – have you ever been forced to step away from your anxiety or the driving have-to of getting something done with your job or business – and no matter how fleeting the feeling – had a sudden realization that nothing would fall apart if you didn’t do something for awhile?  This experience is almost an out of body experience wherein you seem to observe yourself and at the same time are aware of something telling you how super self-important you are about the perceived magnitude of the consequences of not doing whatever it is you are doing.  It makes one feel like a silly ass – but it has a kick that gives a quick, momentary promise to watch it, to beware, to lighten up.

Thou shalt – stop annoying family and friends who fight off, but most often believe that you worship your job or business – more than you care for them.  Does every one of your conversations with family or friends begin with either, “I know I am bothering you, but…” or “I promise I won’t take much of your time, but…?”  That generally means that you are not giving your relationships the attention they deserve.  Although at times I do question the old saw about what you may not regret on your death bed, such as “I wish I had spent one more day at work,” it does have its potency.  The lesson here being just the opposite; that we wish we had spent more time with our loved ones.  It’s an aggravating saw, but one worth considering.

Thou shalt – stop over expending you energy on a constant vigilance to the ideas, practices, strategies, tactics, challenges, problems, operations, failures, threats, opportunities, and so forth about your job or business.  Haven’t you often heard about that great little break that produces a renewed energy and vigor?  You know it’s true.  When we step away from a problem or concern, upon our return we have greater clarity and with that refreshed view point, we are able to be more creative and tuned in to a solution.

Thou shalt – not become a boring roboton.  Are you keeping up with current events, are you seeing the must-see movies, reading the new hot novel, staying aware of the most recent environmental issue, the top websites, latest technological wonder, fashion trends, hot night spots, the new whatever people are raving about --- do you have something – other than you job or business – to talk about with others?  Are you stale in your conversations?  We get so narrow-minded focusing on growing, saving, nurturing, and developing our careers and businesses that we lose touch with anything not related to that endeavor and threaten our capacity to interest other people.  How unattractive is that concept?

Thou shalt – not endanger our health by not taking time to eat right, to sleep, to rest, to have fun, to get in touch with our spirit.  I know you know!  But, it is true.  You risk getting too fat, being too thin, developing diseases, getting depressed, lacking vim and vigor needed to do our best job, and cutting into our life expectancy.  Why is it we are driven to stay at our work and easily ignore our essential health?

Thou shalt – not be more inclined to be self-depreciating.  The more compulsive we get about our jobs and businesses, the more we have our jobs and businesses under a constant, microscopic surveillance.  This duress causes a distorted self-awareness to the point that everything we do we tend to question or second-guess.  What follows is the sickening behavior of picking on and beating up on ourselves.  Nonsense!  We have got to quit doing this!

Well, maybe for our affliction, we have a six-step, rather than a twelve-step program.  The twelve-step program exists to help us with our addictions.  That word, perhaps, doesn’t stray to far from describing what we have – this relentless attachment to our jobs and businesses.  Any addiction comes from an out of control drive and being out of control cannot possibly accomplish what we want – success.  It hinders the progress toward success.

One final “thou shalt”:  Do not eat, live, and breathe your career or business.  Give it a break!  Easier said than done?  Yes, but not at all impossible.   Like anything else, think about and plan what you can do.  Ask for help from family, friends, associates or bring it up at a support group, such as Optimal Level.  With a little twitch of a mindset, a small compensation to the belief in the possible, and a willingness to give it your best shot – you can create and implement a plan that works and will ultimately improve your life!

It seems each month something’s got me on my high horse. This month it is the aggravating habit of so many business women (and maybe men but I don’t talk with them as much about their businesses or careers) to contemplate their navels. Okay, that’s my expression for over-think, over-analyze, and over-prepare. As if they had nothing better to do than waste time staring at their navels.   more »

Eighty-eight years ago some women were imprisoned, went on a hunger strike, were force-fed, and practically gave up their lives as they had previously known them – to help earn the right for women to vote. Now, for the first time in history a woman is running for the President of the United States of America!   more »

Before having typed one word, I realize that I remind myself of the crotchety and ornery Andy Rooney from the Sixty Minutes TV show. He rambles on each week about something that annoys him no matter how minor the subject. What’s bugging me certainly lacks   more »

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion” — Dale Carnegie: When I was watching the Oprah Winfrey show one day recently, Mitch Albom, author of For One More Day was her guest. She was producing the TV movie from this book. It is about a loser-type guy    more »